I’m thinking I should put myself on waivers…
I want to thank Joe Mauer for saving us from the embarrassment that is the combined no-hitter. The Texas Rangers were two outs away from wrapping up what’s got to be the 20th no-hitter this season with four pitchers. Lame. Who wants to be a part of that? That’s like being the ripped kid at fat camp…
Vin Scully announced he’s coming back for his 62nd season with Los Angeles Dodgers. In a related note, 3,000,000 people in Los Angeles have been taken off of suicide watch…
So Tiger is now divorced. Now that he can clear that burden and go back banging Denny’s waitresses and pornstar’s my guess is he’ll win two majors in 2011…
The Little League World Series has started which means one thing: Crying in Baseball…
I have my fantasy draft this week. Yep, I’d rather be fucking a chick…
This Albert Haynesworth thing is awesome. Apparently, he developed some sort of disease that doesn’t allow him to get into shape for $21 million. It’s called, “Say When”…
College football in less than two weeks. Our preview comes out shortly…
Johnny Damon was claimed off waivers by the Red Sox. For that I turn to Jay Mohr…
Ah August the month where I get older, my balls get stickier, and football is upon us…
Kevin Slowey of the Minnesota Twins was yanked after 106 pitches after 7 no-hit innings because the organization felt he could develop vaginitis in his arm so he couldn’t finish. I’m trying to decide what’s worse: actually being yanked from a no-hitter due to a pitch count, the fact that we care about pitch counts, or that Slowey didn’t tell Ron Gardenhire and the organization to go fuck themselves and pitch the 8th inning?…
Sure enough the bullpen blew Slowey’s no-hitter but it’s the L.A. Dodgers bullpen who have single handedly taken them out of playoff picture…
Despite being blond haired, blue eyed, educated, and white, I don’t play much golf but even I know if you see sand on a golf course it’s a bunker. Then again if I’m Dustin Johnson or any other pro golfer I might read the rules…
After nearly finishing dead last the previous week Tiger made a run before fading Saturday. He seemed distracted this year…
Speaking of distractions, Lebron James said Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert has provided him with motivation by his comments after his departure. How nice Lebron. His words motivate you but his signature on your bi-monthly paychecks aren’t enough? This guy is slowly becoming that little kid in the grocery store that is acting up that you just want to see a parent smack the shit out of…
Apparently Brett Favre is due back at some point this weekend. He’ll need a two-hour one on one with Suzie Kolber to make it official…
These new commercials with Kenny Powers are the perfect reminder that a new season of Eastbound and Down starts next month…
In addition Weeds has started, I give it a couple of episodes after last year’s lame season before I decide to go Entourage on it and quit…
Took some time away this since I wanted to feel like I have a life…
I will say St. Louis is a underrated city. Great ballpark, great Italian food, and the Budweiser brewery is worth the tour. That being said, too damn hot for longer than three days…
Chicago was awesome. High 80s and sunny all week. Wrigley Field is still a gem and the Cubs are still awful…
MLB trade deadline has come and gone. The Yankees have to be a little disappointed they missed out on Dan Haren and Cliff Lee. If the Phillies can get into the postseason they are once again the favorites to come out of the NL…
The case between the NHL and Ilya Kovalchuk should be settled this week. This is a good move by the NHL to limit this kind of crap with cap friendly long term deals. Seriously, $95 million in the first 10 years, $7 million in the final 7 years is an absolute joke…
I much prefer the short work week…
College football and NFL camps start this week. An exciting time of the year…
Then again if you watch preseason football you’re a loser…
How can you scare yourself? Run into someone you slept with over 6 months ago who’s ready to give birth…
Oh Vegas, you do it to me every time…
Congrats go to Spain as the football kings of the World. It took 116 minutes but the Spanish captured the nation’s first World Cup Championship. While the final didn’t live up to the expectations, minus this one highlight, it was a solid display of tactics and the impenetrable defense by Spain. The best age of Spanish football has resulted in Gold…
LeBron James: Coward
If you want to play a good game in Vegas: Try Pro or Ho. Great odds…
Second half baseball predictions: AL: Yankees, Tigers, Rangers, Rays; NL: Braves, Reds, Dodgers, Rockies…
Again: How does one get motivated for a 2.5 day work week?…
Is it a good or bad thing hookers don’t approach you in Vegas?…
I hope everybody had a fun holiday weekend. Oh beer you are always my friend when you play the role of the enemy…
We’re down to the final four of the World Cup. The team that had looked the best (Germany), the favorite (Spain), the dark horse (Netherlands), and upstart (Uruguay) all have had interesting paths to final spectrum. Uruguay lucked out with penalty kicks. Spain’s tactical game has allowed them to squeeze by. The Dutch are frustrating opponents defensively with timely offensive breakout. The Germans are blitzkreiging everyone. I’m taking Spain over the Netherlands in the final. But either way knowing I’ll be in Vegas for the final means the Euro Trash will be in full force…
Lebron James still hasn’t signed anywhere and I don’t care…
Tiger Woods couldn’t shoot even par at his own tournament. He just needs to get back in the swing of things to fine tune his game…
Rafael Nadal captured Wimbledon title number two and Grand Slam #8. I think he’s greatest clay court player of all-time but until he can do something on the hard court he’s not amongst the talk of legends of the game…
I watch that show Hung and think not a bad career choice…
How does one get motivated for a 2.5 day work week?…
Butters you don’t shoot people in the dick…
Once again we’re suckers for soccer…
The match against Ghana had to feel like another punch to the gut. The ineptness of the first five minutes of a first half for the United States finally caught up to them. The Americans played on edge all tournament and while nobody expected a World Cup title, it feels disappointing knowing both Ghana and Uruguay are beatable teams. The fun ride came to abrupt end. It hurts knowing the USA was the only group to not advance to the quarterfinals…
I want to thank Buffalo Wild Wings for serving beer at 9am during the World Cup. Nothing like 18 wings and Guinness for breakfast…
So the United States’ ancestor and neighbor were each also screwed by the FIFA refs. Sorry Mexico and England but chances are you wouldn’t have advanced farther anyway…
Free agency starts Thursday. Nope I don’t care about NBA free agency, I’m more concerned if the Los Angeles Kings land Ilya Kovalchuk…
As for the NBA everyone is taking a maximum contract wherever they go…
How have the Tampa Bay Rays been no-hit three times in a season and half? I give credit to the Diamondbacks for leaving Edwin Jackson despite 149 pitches. What pitch count?…
Cedric Benson keeping Austin criminalized…
The United States not Ghana win one anytime soon…
It only took 91 minutes to reach climax…
This is really simple: The United States advanced and won their group. First things first, yes the USA should’ve beaten Slovenia and taken a 1-0 lead in the first half against Algeria. Thanks to two awful calls by the officials, 360 million people cared about football—soccer—in this country. But now, who cares? Thanks to another clutch Landon Donovan goal, the USA advanced, won Group C and has a very nice path to reach the semifinals. The dream continues on Saturday…
My very attractive but very engaged upstairs neighbor has agreed to play the role of Goose at the bars. Negative ghost rider the pattern is full…
I can say without a doubt Lakers-Celtics Game 7 goes down as the worst game ever played to decide a championship in my lifetime. I haven’t watched an NBA game in its entirety since 2004 and after that display I know why. Still the Lakers made a great comeback to narrow the gap to 17 to 16 in championships compared to the Celtics…
Now the big question is where does Kobe Bryant rank among the greats with 5 championships? Right now Kobe ranks as the 2nd greatest Laker of all-time behind Magic. When he gets his 6th championship he will pass Magic on the Laker realm. The six will of course tie him with Mike but there will be a Shaq asterisk by the two. Point blank if Kobe gets to 8 championships he should go down as the greatest player ever…
DONOVAN! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL…
Man a lot has gone on in the world of sports in two weeks let’s gets to it…
First of all the World Cup has started. My favorite sporting event. Actually not the event but more about the hypocrisy in America that goes with it. A bunch of white people that root for European countries that they’ve never been to is acceptable but minorities that root for countries of their previous generations should be kicked out of the country for being assholes. It’s great…
As for the big match of the World Cup between the United States and England, a 1-1 draw is a perfect ending. We’re up and coming but not at the elite level and England is again the most overrated European football team. Obviously the goal that was scored will go down as one of the worst in World Cup history but the match was even throughout and a draw was fitting…
Congratulations to the Chicago Blackhawks for ending the 49 year Stanley Cup Championship drought. Correctly predicted by me, the Hawks outlasted the Flyers in 6 games as Patrick Kane scored the winner in overtime. The first five games were all home ice victories but Kane ended the curse in the extra frame in front of Philly fan. Now the longest Cup drought belongs to the Toronto Maple Leafs. I’m sure the people in Toronto aren’t aware…
Lakers-Celtics are living up to the hype. It’ll go 7…
Speaking of Lakers-Celtics, how about one of the biggest rivals in college sports meeting for the championship? UCLA softball outlasted Arizona for their 11th championship and their first since 2004. UCLA was given a gift dropped fly ball to win Game 1 and carried the momentum for a sweep…
And I’m sorry girls but if you want to be on equal footing with men, then the gaffe between Britany Lastrapes and Lauren Schutzler was inexcusable. It’s the center fielder’s ball. Awful play…
Kudos to Jim Joyce for being a man and owning up to his mistake on the Armando Galarraga perfect game. He was wrong. He owned it. Good for him. Still, it should’ve been the third perfect game of the season…
I’m sorry but when it matters on the national stage, England, you just can’t beat the Yanks…
I hope everybody had a good Memorial weekend. The calendar roles into June, the weather is nice, burgers and beer is a regular lunch, and women wear less clothing…
I know it’s belated but I’m taking the Blackhawks in 6. Philadelphia has had a magical run to get to the finals but Chicago is too deep and have the goaltending to match Philly. Throw in the fact Chicago has won 7 consecutive road games and I think it’s going to take at least a 2 road wins for Philadelphia to take the Cup because Chicago will win a game on the road…
So now we have a familiar matchup in NBA Finals: Lakers vs. Celtics for the 12th time. The Celtics hold a 9-2 edge all-time including the championship in 2008. The Lakers hold the home court this time which always makes a difference in the 2-3-2 format. This Laker team is deeper and tougher from the 08 team and throw in the fact that with 5 rings Kobe will Magic Johnson’s Laker record and one between Michael. The way Kobe is locked in, it’s tough to bet against him. Lakers in 6…
Really baseball is an amazing game. In a matter of three weeks we’ve seen 10% of the perfect games in baseball history. Roy Halladay survived six 3-ball counts to pitch a perfect game against the Marlins and win 1-0 with the only run coming on a 3-base error on a dropped fly ball. Wow…
In preparation for the World Cup I’m going with this slogan: 1776, 1812, 1950, 2010…
It seemed to be a perfect week…except for Saturday’s weather in Austin…
Congratulations to Dallas Braden of the Oakland A’s for pitching the 19th Perfect Game in MLB history. The guy who A-Rod said had no credibility obviously has made a name for himself now. He joins Catfish Hunter as the only other pitcher to throw a Perfect Game in the storied Athletics franchise…
Another perfect thing is three NBA teams: the Orlando Magic are on a roll and will sweep through the first two rounds on the playoffs. The Suns and Lakers will get a week off after rolling through their series…
The not-so-perfect would be Time Magazine. Congrats on becoming People Magazine. Lady Gaga, Sandra Bullock, and Taylor Swift are on your 100 most influential list? What a joke.
I think the entire city of San Jose just let out a huge sigh of relief. Detroit your team just wasn’t good enough…
Tiger couldn’t finish his round of golf because of a neck injury. According to Curb Your Enthusiasm there are only two ways to injure your neck…
It sucks that when you’re in a Lake it goes from 90 one day to 70 and cloudy the next…